Motherhood

When I first got married, I knew we would have kids eventually, and I definitely wanted kids....but in a very generic way I guess. But, then after we had been married 6 months I had 2 miscarriages very close together. From that moment on, the only thing that seemed to fit my future was MOTHER.
So, after recovering from the miscarriages we started to try to have a baby.....with no success for 2 years. Every month was a roller coaster ride of emotions.
Then, out of the blue.....nauseousness followed by a positive little test. A baby! I couldn't believe it. The next 9 months were full of hope, anticipation, and some hard times. I had a hard pregnancy full of complications and blood tests, but full of happiness and hope for the future. I had no idea what it really meant to be a full-time mother but was very excited to experience it.
Lily came and consumed my whole world.....I slept on the floor next to her in the swing. I took her with me everywhere I went. I had a hard time sleeping if I couldn't hear her little body breathing. I took a thousand pictures of her a day and thought that nothing so cute had ever walked the earth. Two+ years later she is still my world.....my sleeping revolves around her sleeping. My eating revolves around her eating. She is still my whole world + a huge belly full of anticipation of another one.
I am not sure how it will feel to have two little people be my whole world.....how to be able to fulfill both of their needs. But, as I am 2 weeks away from meeting this next little girl I am full of anticipation and can't wait to have this baby on the outside of me rather than the inside.
Getting out the tiny onesies, picking up a box of newborn diapers all seems surreal. It seems so different from last time, but also the same.
I am sure I will be able to figure this out....being a mother to two tiny baby girls. But for now, I am not too proud to admit that I am scared and hope that I can do this. I also hope my transition to 2 kids will go smoother than the first transition or else my husband may not be convinced to do this again!