Have a little faith...

So, last night I started worrying----a lot. After having had severe contractions and ending up at the hospital twice (once back in July and once this past week), I just got overwhelmed that after all that pain and stress I am not any closer to having Lily come out of me. I just thought there was no way I could do this---it is too hard. I know that women and babies survive childbirth, but yesterday it just seemed like I was not going to be one of them.
Anyway, I started praying last night and this morning about the whole thing. I was just so scared and not sure that I was strong enough mentally or physically to do this. I prayed and worried this morning for a while. I got into the shower and it was still weighing very heavily on my mind. All of a sudden, I just got this feeling that everything would be okay. I had an image in my head of me holding Lily after she is born and that everything was okay and that it was all worth it.
When I lost the babies before I always had in my mind this image of a little toddler aged girl with curly blonde hair waiting to come down and this morning I knew that she was coming and Heavenly Father wasn't going to give up on us now. He is going to get her here and He will not abandon me in the process.
I can't believe I get to be a mom to this sweet little girl and I can't wait to meet her!

So....babies do come out....right?

So, my mom called today and told me that babies do eventually come out. I said, "Really, I think Lily is going to be the exception!" She is very firmly planted in there with no desire to move down or anything. I have been having contractions since Wednesday----some very severe, some not, with no improvement in getting her out. So, she is planted in there for the long haul. I guess she will have to come out eventually but it seems like she is definitely trying for later rather than any kind of sooner.

I have been reading some books by Lori Wick to keep myself busy. I like them---they are easy to read and are clean. But, in every book she talks about religion and about all you have to do to be "saved" is say that you believe you are a sinner and believe in Jesus Christ. Once you do that---BAM----you are eternally saved. Reading that same sentiment over a few times has made me stop to ponder my belief system and how I know that there is so much more to it than that and how grateful I am for that knowledge. Having faith is an integral part, but only part of the whole picture.

Anyway, Happy Saturday to all---August is more than halfway over!

A few of my favorite things

Here are a few of my favorite things----Cute toes---I got a pedicure on Saturday---my husband told me to go find some happiness because I was having a pregnant woman breakdown if you know what I mean.
Cute fingers---I also got my fingers done too---gotta love the Wal-Mart nail salon. Try to ignore the pregnant chubby toes and fingers!

Cute baby clothes given to us today by our friends Jason and Chelsa---so cute and so little---I love to play with each new set of clothes that we get. So cute!
The baby blanket I finally finished that I started a long time ago---Rob told me I had to have it done before she got here---I am pretty pleased with the finished product. I always find cute fabric when I make blankets for others but I have a hard time finding cute fabric when I want to make one for my own baby---but I do think this one turned out pretty cute.
Rob holding up his favorite article of Lily's clothes----he picked that one out.
A new vacuum that we got a steal on----who knew you could bargain with the Target workers on a Dyson vacuum? Let's just say we got it for 50% off its normal price----steal of a deal--and it works like a dream!

Flowers from my boss/coworker on my last day of work! I love daisies!

Other favorite things:

• The Olympics
• The swimming pool at our complex
• Good books (just finished Breaking Dawn and loved it)
• Not having to commute into downtown Phoenix every day
• Fresh raspberries from Costco---delicious!
  

My least favorite thing---the fact that this belly will only continue to get bigger for 2 more weeks. My induction date---August 26 which means she will be born on her actual due date and probably be ginormous. I guess I should have known that she does things in her own time and does not like to be rushed! Don't mock my ginormous belly too much please!

Maternity Leave--I love my life!

Today is my last day before maternity leave---I will be out for at least 8-12 weeks and then I am going to come back to work part-time, working from home mostly.
I am so excited to have a break! I can't even tell you how excited I am to have a week or two to myself before my little bambino gets here---and then I am just excited to get my little bambino here.

My cute husband left me a note on the fridge with a pre-packed lunch in the fridge for my last day of work---I get up at 4:30am, so he did it last night because he does not get up that early. I wake him up for prayers at 5:15 before I leave and then he goes back to bed for who knows how long---it is probably better that I don't know!

He bought steaks to grill tonight to celebrate---he won't eat one of course, but I am very much looking forward to it! I love a grilled steak!

I am also greatly looking forward to the Olympics starting tonight--I love watching the Olympics. It is amazing how almost any sport can just draw you in and make you want to watch for ridiculous amounts of time---perfect timing for me as I have a couple of days to sit around and do nothing for long periods of time--with my feet up!

Happy Friday and Happy Olympic watching to all!

Marriage....Marriage is what brings us together today

My sister Rachelle is getting married! I am very happy for her.
Not only is she funny, gorgeous, and very generous, she is just an awesome lady! When I lived in Utah one summer and was working at Seagull Book, she would bring me dinner a lot. She also helped a sister out when my car broke down when I was engaged. She is a great friend! I am very happy for her! Her and my other sis Diana came and visited me last October. It was a good time! We also spent a lot of years at the annual Waite "Singles Outings" together, before I got married.

Congrats Rocky! I am very excited for you. I will try to start saving my pennies so I can be there!

I will now answer some questions....

1. How are you feeling these days?
My nurse at the doctor's office asked me this very question---she gave me a knowing look and said, "I know, I know. You are tired, hot, swollen, crampy, and want this to be over?" I looked at her with a knowing look and asked "How did you guess?". She said all women have "the look" after 35 weeks. I am pretty sure that "the look" means you look like death warmed over, but in my head I will think it means that I am "pretty and glowing".

2. How much longer?
This is a very interesting question. My original due date is August 27. My doctor told me he would induce me around the 17th a while back. Now, he is saying she might not be ready, so it might be closer to the 27th. If they induce me when Lily is not "ready" then she won't come and they have to take her by C-section, and as much fun as that doesn't sound like, we would like her to be "ready". My mother told me she talked to Lily and told her she had to be ready on the 17th---we shall see what grandmotherly powers she possesses. Now, I just know that she will come in this month---because my doctor said he wouldn't let me go over my due date because babies and placentas don't like going over your due date. So, if I go to my due date without having her, then she would be born on August 28th because he would start me on the 27th. August 28th is my dad's birthday---I don't think he would mind sharing.

3. When is your last day of work?
One week from today, August 8, 2008, 4 more working days, 40 more hours. Thanks for asking!

4. Did you ever get your ring off of your finger?
By a miracle, I did. I was less swollen one day and I did get it off. I immediately made Rob take me to Wal-Mart to buy a temporary ring to replace it while I am pregnant. We bought one for $8.88 which has since tarnished, and probably permanently turned my finger green.

5. Are you still wearing your tarnished ring with your green finger?
Why yes, yes I am.

6. Why?
Because I ring check girls who are pregnant just because I am curious, so I would like people to know I am married to the father of my child. In Arizona, most people probably wouldn't care, but I do. If I were in Utah, people would definitely care. When I was my sister's "nanny" and would take her 1 year old shopping, people would ring-check me and then glare me down. I was still a single gal then, so my left ring finger was bare. I didn't appreciate the glaring so I started wearing my CTR ring on that finger backwards when I went out with the children to avoid the dirty looks my way.

7. Are you ready?
This question can be taken in many ways--
Am I ready to be done being pregnant? The answer to this is a resounding yes.
Am I ready to be a mother and be responsible for a tiny life-form who will be dependent on me for all of its needs? I don't think anyone is ever ready for that--and I am no exception.
Am I ready with all of the baby stuff? I think so...but being a first-time mom and all, how is a girl to know?

8. Are you sleeping?
It is definitely a challenge. Everyone says it is mother nature's way of preparing you for a newborn---but I think that Mother Nature should let me stock up on sleep now since I won't get a full nights rest for a year. But, Mother Nature didn't ask me, so alas, no I am not really sleeping that well.

If you have any other questions you would like answered--let me know. I am very willing to oblige.

Tired....

I had an extremely difficult time getting out of my bed this morning. Even after a shower, getting ready, breakfast, etc. I was still so tired. You know the kind of feeling you have when you know if you got back in bed you would have the best sleep ever....because you are that tired. That is where I am today. Why am I this tired? Besides almost being 9 months pregnant I really have no idea!

In other news I just finished reading Mistaken Identity---For those of you looking for a good read, I would definitely recommend this book. It was a very interesting read. It really makes you wonder how something like that could happen, but a very good book.

I also have started watching a show called Hopkins on ABC on Thursdays---It is about the doctors at John Hopkins Hospital. It is a very interesting show to see actual doctors and what it is like. Highly enjoyable hour of television. I was also relieved that last night on So You Think You Can Dance they eliminated Mark----he was definitely not my favorite.

I am looking forward to a pretty lazy weekend---sleeping, going to a baptism, sleeping, swimming, sleeping. I will definitely let you know how far I got on my list!